Don Francis was pastor of SD, a small inland village of Ortona. A native of Tuscia, had brought from his country, 126 color of an old pigeon poop that tried in vain to park in the nearby streets to his church, all named streets, strangely, those who had preceded him at the helm of the parish. This thing worried him a lot and at the same time gave him a bit 'of envy. There were rumors, in fact, hovering in the night, in his jalopy, in search of a virgin or a road widening that could have had his name, when he would not have been more. For this reason, many had dubbed "the piazza". Stocky stature, ruddy cheeks, Scrima Licking and sticking to the left, a belly that stretched round, held by an old wall., White collar which gave him a resounding triple chin, like a capon in love. But Don Francis had a very important feature: it was greedy. Often you could see it in a hurry to go from perpetual noon, eat quickly, mixing sentences unclear about pressing obligations (in truth always brushed all) and get out before it was one o'clock, go and scrounge for another full meal and plenty of his parishioner, owner of a small vessel, with the excuse to bless something. The pastor of the nearby village, Don Hyginus, hissed nastily at the church door, when he saw him pass, "the boat is small but roomy cargo hold." Don Francis, however, had already selected of those who could be useful and of those, however, framed its very nature, could give him trouble. Usually, such people had the same nature as that priest. Attached to the parsonage, there was a small house in the Piazzetta, two ground floor rooms, kept clean and perpetuated by a small basement, where Don Francesco, he kept his treasures: ham, cheese, gifts and above all a pious old ladies reserve wine would be the envy of a Ricasoli. Trebbiano, Montepulciano, Pecorino cheese, all wines from Abruzzo, and refined so well that he kept them divided between the board and the religious: he argued that in fact a bad wine could invalidate the mass. With this excuse, in various celebrations of the day, you scrounge a quarter at a time, filling the cup to the brim of the Eucharist. But, in keeping with his role as bishop, was not kind to the men devoted to the excesses and especially with a: Giuvannine Cendechioppe, a wizened and mature worker, skilled jobs particularly in "crank." Don Francis was usually just fling against Giuvannine sermons on Sunday, when he spoke of sobriety and vice. After preparing one of these sermons, he found himself, on Christmas Eve, around half past ten, down to the cellar to take the necessary wine in the celebration of this holy occasion. The Piazzetta, the light on, had a terrible surprise: the cellar was empty as a dried gourd! Disappeared ham, cheese and above all the wine! He staggered like a boxer under the opponent's fists as he would do now ...? Suspicion immediately fell on Giuvannine that at that moment was passing in the street close to all points covered in the mass. Don Francisco immediately concluded that rascal, to pay for a good dress, had traded the treasures of his basement with some pannazzaro market on Thursday. Immediately thought of revenge. But the little priest was not a man by striking gestures, it was subtle and was not able to do scenes, but it could be smooth and mellow with the worst of enemies. We wanted an excuse to bring in Giuvannine trappola. Decise di chiamarlo. Gli chiese: “Giovannino caro, vedo che sei vestito di tutto punto per questo Santo giorno, ma hai l’animo pulito?” “Frechete Don France’! ” gli rispose Giuvannine. “Giovannino” disse il parroco “ Io penso di poterti dare una indulgenza speciale per Natale, se compirai una buona azione, cenando con me in sagrestia prima della Messa. Sono molto solo e vorrei condividere con te questa ricorrenza. Dimentichiamo tutto il male che ti ho detto. In fondo sei un buon uomo.” Il povero Giuvannine che era sbevazzone ed anche un po’ fesso, cadde nella trappola. “Scine Don Francè! Lu vine li’ puorte ije!”. Detto questo corse a casa a prendere a bottle of Montepulciano, on his side, in truth, not much given subject. Here they are about an hour before putting in the sacristy, Don Francis and Giuvannine, preparing the table on a bench equipped for that purpose. It was when Giuvannine stood shoulder to uncork the bottle of wine that the Piazzetta's dealt a blow on the head with an old candlestick. Giuvannine fell like a sack of potatoes. Without this, the pastor, the removal, taking care to fold for good new suit of the victim and forcefully shoved the limp body of the drunkard in his underwear, in a closet full of old plaster statues and vestments. Here he is Don Francis, the altar during the celebration of the Eucharist, the Mass of Christmas. The church was full of faithful and relatives returned to the country for holidays. Don Francis celebrated with solemnity. He was there with the cup in his hand ready for the formula of the missal, "Take and drink from it ..." When he was interrupted by a voice that seemed to come from the beyond: "What 'dda fe you?". The priest swayed between the general buzz. Then she regained her composure and tried to continue: "This is my ..." On one side of Giuvannine had appeared in his underwear, with a stole on his shoulders and a machine gun taken from the hands of who knows what the statue of the saint. "Quess i lu vine me." In the roar of amazement of indignation and laughter of the most malicious, Don Francesco fainted. The development went ahead, and many did have time to go the parish, by Don Hyginus, to follow the celebration. The Piazzetta spent the night delirious with a high fever. A week later, after a sound dressing down at the bishop, was sent to another parish, this time near his village. The crime was the subject of conversation in the bar for some time, then was forgotten. Few, however, had noticed that famous Christmas night, the entrance of the church, a man, never seen before, dark, bushy eyebrows and pointed beard, which came out grinning, in the night, leaving behind Following a penetrating sulfur. It 'goes without saying that, Don Francis, none of the country had stolen anything.
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